The Wakes of Destruction
by ohmanitsmichaela
Summary: After the war with Aizen, Shunsui has remained unconscious for days. Nanao can only blame herself for her captain's injuries, and current state. Will that change?
1. Chapter 1

_Taichou, do you remember your confrontation with Head-Captain Yamamoto? You were far more level-headed than I could have ever imagined. You decided in no time at all what would be best for the others, and you shunpoed away, with Ukitake-Taichou. I followed out of loyalty to you... To our squad... I wasn't sure if two captains could handle the Head-Captain alone. I was foolish for thinking a lowly lieutenant could make a difference; so foolish. He only stared at me, and every cell within my being was crushing; like my body was forcibly shrinking in on itself. I was a damn fool... But still, you blamed yourself. You stepped in Yamamoto's line of vision, took me in your arms, and flash-stepped as far away as you thought necessary. You saved me, Taichou... You saved me... This time I should've been the one trying to save you. Yet here I sit, by your side, where I should have been during the war..._

I sat silently, reminiscing over the past, the present, and the ever-changing future. What in the hell am I going to do? He needed me. He shouldn't be in this condition. This is my fault. He deserves a better fukataichou… I was brought away from my inner turmoil as Kyoraku-Taichou stirred unconsciously. He had been for days… Weeks… I'd lost count.

"It's alright, Taichou. I'm here." I reached out to him, and as lightly as possible, brushed his hair from his face, which seemed to be the source of his discomfort. He immediately stopped moving, and I cursed myself mentally for leaving his beloved pinwheels in his quarters. He would love to wear them, even if he didn't know he was wearing them.

"Taichou, I'm so sorry I didn't come to your aid. I'm sorry that you're in this condition. You shouldn't be in here. You should be outside, under your favorite tree, drinking sake as I nag you until you decide to adamantly refuse or give in exasperatedly…" I felt my voice quiver as it had so many times before while I gave this speech to unhearing ears. I'd felt this many times, and it always signals the same thing… Sorrow. Not just any sorrow, oh no. Pain-staking, heart-wrenching, guilt-writhing sorrow. Tears always proceeded after my apologies. Probably my body's form of punishment since it knew I hated such weaknesses. When thought of it like that, I welcomed them, because I knew I deserved every consequence that was thrown at me. I don't deserve to serve him any longer, but I won't leave him now. I would die a thousand times before that happened.

I suppose I had removed my glasses and wiped my face without realizing it because both my glasses were gone and my face no longer felt like a dripping faucet. Then that smooth, silky, deep voice broke through my concentration…

"…Don't cry, Nanao-chan…" He took a shaky breath, "Your eyes are much too beautiful for such pain and sorrow." I immediately stared up at him, rubbing at my vehemently to make sure I was seeing things correctly, my sleeping hadn't been the best as of late. There he laid, resting my glasses on his chest, a weak smile lighting up those eternally joyous gray eyes.

"Taichou, I'm sorry… Please, sir, forgive me… I'll see to it that you get a new fuk-…" His voice, though low, came in very clearly for someone in such a condition as he was.

"Nanao-chan, don't apologize. You did nothing wrong, but if it'll ease your burden, I forgive you." He slowly reached his hand up to my face, trying to cup my cheek though his palm took up most of the room. I leaned closer so that he wouldn't need to strain as much, having no words except apologies that I knew he would render unnecessary.

"As a captain of the Soul Society, I swear on my honor, I'll never see this face cry again." On an impulse, I took his hand from my face and held it between my two, much smaller hands, not wanting to offend the man who had so easily forgiven my worst mistake.

"And as a vice captain, I swear on my honor, I will never see you in here, in this condition, as long as I live. I'm never leaving your side, Taichou. Never again," I let a soft sigh escape lips, trying to add some normalcy for him, "Except when I need to do your neglected piles of paperwork, of course." The grin that crossed his face in that moment made every single word, action, and emotion worth it.

"Nanao-chan…" He took a shallow breath, but continued grinning, giving a light squeeze to one of my hands, "I came home from war… Do I get kisses now?"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Please forgive the shortness of the last chapter. My inspiration came in really late. Like 3am late. It's shortly after midnight now, so hopefully this one will be better. Thanks so much for all the positive feedback! Please continue reading! 3**

I had no words for the amount of relief I felt. I had never in my life been so happy to be hit on by my pervert, old taichou. I hadn't realized just how much I missed his voice, the way his eyes light up when he calls me "Nanao-chan," how he seems to have this unwavering aura of warmth always surrounding him… My taichou had to be one of the most incredible men in all of Soul Society.

"I was only joking, you know," He murmurs softly, rubbing soothing circles into the back of my hand, laughing feebly, "I don't think I'm in any condition to have kisses. My heart couldn't handle it." Wonderful. So he's injured greatly and still cracking jokes. I'm an awful fukataichou.

"Of course, Taichou, I know that. I was just thinking about some things." I held his large, significantly warmer, hand between mine tighter, feeling like a lack of contact would send him back into his unconscious stupor. Desperate for reassurance that this was reality, and not some twisted dream my mind decided to conjure up, I asked him if he could have anything at this very moment, what would he want. The response I got blew me away… I know longer cared if this was a dream. If it was, hopefully I'd never wake up.

"Silly, Nanao-chan, I'd want to be outside under my favorite tree, drinking sake, while my favorite vice captain nagged me about work." I let my eyes close and the silence grew long; he looked toward me to watch my reaction, I could feel his gaze searching my face. My taichou wanted me to nag him. He missed the familiarity of it. He missed it. My taichou missed me… _My _taichou. It was in that moment that I knew something had changed over the last two weeks. He was no longer my taichou out of necessity to be loyal… Oh no. My mind was being possessive. He was mine… Or so something within me wanted to believe so.

"I see… How about we take a small trip, Kyoraku-Taichou?" Giving his hand a final squeeze, I stood close by his bedside as I had done everyday since the war.

"A trip? Sure, I'd love to get outta this tiny bed," He struggled to sit up, and I gave myself a firm scowling, realizing, yet again, with a rude awakening, the full extent of his wounds. He glanced at my face and immediately stopped moving. I briefly wondered what he saw there in my expression that made him so… Cautious.

Without a second thought, I put on my best smile and gave him a careful hug, barely able to get my arms around his massive body, and shunpoed us outside, under his favorite tree.

He looked around in wonder, my guess being that it's pretty damn amazing to see the outside world after being unconscious for so long.

"The cherry blossoms are beautiful this time of year, aren't they, sir?" I gently propped him against the tree, and noticed that the wind was blowing his hair in his face again. Wordlessly, I took a spare hair bow and tied his hair back into his usual, wavy ponytail, his dark gray eyes scrutinizing my face.

"They're beautiful, yes… Do they compare to you? Not in a hundred thousand millennia. Nothing compares to you, my Nanao-chan." I felt my heart stop and stutter to an irregular pattern. He had called me that before, but I had never had the epiphany that he was _my _taichou back then. This gave his simple words an entirely new meaning, and I wasn't sure what to do about that.

"Taichou, please don't say such things if you don't mean them. That's rude." I mentally cursed myself for chastising him, but my mind was screaming at me that he is my captain and nothing more. I don't want it to be more. It can't be more.

For the first time in years I saw him frown directly at me as he spoke, "And what, my dear Nanao, has made you think that I don't mean that?"

"The fact that it's not true, Taichou." A soft sigh broke through my composure at his aggravation. I had no intentions of upsetting him. I just wanted to let him have some fresh air… I wanted to see that smile brighten all of Seireitei… I wanted his happiness for no other reason that just for him to be happy.

"Nanao-chan," He whispered my name softly and pulled me into his lap, "Of course it's true. How can I explain?" He rocked me, almost childishly, and I felt a faint, unwelcome blush creep into my cheeks.

"Your beauty is like the stars. The clouds can easily hide them, but they're always there… They never disappear, they never stop shining… Nanao, you never stop shining either. You never cease to be as beautiful and radiant as the stars. In fact, any soul would welcome death with a smile as long as they were at the mercy of your hands." His sweltering hand reached up and with a feather light touch, brushed my hair from my face. I shut my eyes, feeling his proximity come closer, until his lips were at my ear, murmuring so that his breath caressed my skin. "Nanao-chan, can I ask you something?"

"I don't see why not, sir." I managed to whisper, swallowing my pride, wiping my clammy palms on my own hakama.

"Now that we're out here alone…" He trailed off, cradling my body to his chest, his lips somehow even closer to my skin without touching it.

"Yes, Taichou?" I took a deep breath, my entire face flooding with heat, anticipating his words.

"Now that we're out here alone… Can I have sake now?" The previous grin I'd seen him where in his make-shift healing room broke across his face again, and it took every voluntary inch of my willpower to smack him in the back of his head as hard as I could.

"No, Kyoraku-Taichou. You can't." I gave an exasperated huff and shunpoed him back to his bed before crossing my arms, scowling deeply at the floor as I marched out, hearing him laugh much more heartily than before.

"Come back soon, Nanao-chan. And don't forget the sake."


End file.
